If Only Innocence
by AkiyaRaeXVI
Summary: Suguru has been lying, and now Tohma knows the truth... Toh/Su


**Title: **If Only Innocence

**Author:** AkiyaRae

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gravitation in any way shape or form

**Warning:** none really except major age difference and yaoi if you squint...REALLY HARD

**Rating:** I dont think M...I reckon a T...

**Blurb: **Tohma ponders thoughts on his sleeping boyfriend (based on a true story)

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Tohma Seguchi, President of NG Pro, Keyboardist for the band Nittle Grasper and one of the most successful businessmen in not only Japan, but the world lay awake as his little lover slept.

Suguru Fujisaki, keyboardist and synth player for the band Bad Luck, talented young musician, twin-like to his lover and cousin, Tohma shifted in his sleep. Tohma smiled at first, looking at how peaceful the younger one was. And how much this display of complete innocence only sadened him.

innocence.

Tohma felt as though he had stolen it from Suguru. Even though his precious beloved had been within a sexual situation before, it had been non consentual. It had been rape.

innocence.

It had been shattered to the point where Suguru began to lie about his age. He told everyone and even Tohma (his parents actually ran with the story) the he was sixteen years of age. But in actuality, when all was said and done and the two men were behind closed doors; Suguru Fujisaki was only fourteen.

He was rather mature for his age, having grown up in the company of people who were older than him. He had always been delighted when people older than him accepted him and didn't question his age. It was around that time that his mother had even mocked up a fake birth certificate for technicalities sake to prove he was sixteen, more so to stave off the legal side of things.

But no amount of lying outside those bedroom doors and into the world could hide what he, Tohma Seguchi had done. He had fallen in love with his little cousin. A boy who was more than half his age. A boy. His cousin. And he was in love.

Suguru had confessed similar feelings and Tohma had enacted on them. He didn't want to throw it away but it at the same time this feeling of complete and utter rightness was completely and utterly wrong.

The blonde looked once again to his younger lover. Suguru had no idea that Tohma knew he had been lying about his age. No idea that Tohma was very much aware that Suguru was only fourteen. And that hurt more than anything. He had to lie to his cousin as much as his cousin lied to him.

And it hurt.

If legal action had been involved this whole paradise could come crashing down. Tohma blinked as a tear rolled down his cheek. He loved this little boy so much, but now he was left in turmoil. Should he stay or should he go?

If he stayed he could ensure both his and Suguru's happiness but couldn't ensure that they would be together forever, because the second the media found out about their relationship, in the heartbeat that legal action would be taken: All of it would come crashing down and Tohma would find himself imprisoned on paedophilic charges.

His heart leapt then.

Paedophile.

The one thing he hated, he had become when Eiri was younger, the one thing he hated he had become when he had fallen for Suguru. He was nothing more than a common old man with a thing for young dick.

Tohma shook his head and tried to rid himself of such thoughts but they were at no avail. They bombarded him harder and harder. Infesting his mind with unnecessary pain, wracking his chest and body with the thoughts of his actions.

He felt dirty and unclean, he knew he needed to explore the unwanted avenue of breaking off the relationship before it got too far. But that would only lead to pain on both sides. Suguru was already in an unstable place and Tohma himself didn't know if his heart could possibly take anymore pain.

Getting over Eiri and falling for Suguru had been a long painful process as it was. Tohma knew that if this didn't work out he could never love again. Brown eyes finally opened, Tohma knew it was time. He kissed his lover on his forhead and continued to speak.

"You lied to me"

"huh?"

"I want you to know I'm a man of my word. When I promise something I always keep it. But this is something we need to talk about." *pause* "I know I promised your mother I wouldn't tell you that I knew but...this is something that we really need to talk about."

"Tohma what is it?"

"I know that you're only fourteen." Suguru's reflexes kicked into overdrive as he thrashed trying to get away from his beloved, trying not to face the situation at hand. Tohma's own reflexes made him leap with cat-like precision pinning his young lover to his chest. Only to be hit in light frustration from Suguru who started to yell and cry.

"This is why...This is why they all left me! I tell them the truth and they left me and they hate me" Suguru sobbed then and tried to escape his cousins grasp. "And now you're gonna hate me and thats the end of it I can't help what year i was born!" Suguru wailed, flailing incessantly.

"It doesn't change a thing." Tohma said calmly over the wailing. "I still love you." Suguru stopped then, his chocolate brown eyes finally looking up into soft calm teal.

"it doesnt change a thing." Tohma repeated so his lover could be sure he had meant it. " I am, however, a little upset that you were not the one to tell me. But other than that, I'm not mad." Tohma smiled and bent down to kiss his lover softly. "I'm not mad at all." Suguru just nodded.

There was a moments pause before the younger one leeapt up and latched his mouth onto Tohma's, kissing him as passionately as he possibly could.

"Tohma I love you, I love you just..." He kissed the older man again before pausing. "...you're not going to leave?" Tohma shook his head and cupped Suguru's chin making the boy look at him. He inside his head had decided that the media could fuck themselves, he knew how to deal with them, how to blackmail, he was after all Tohma seguchi. And despite knowing he could be up for paedophile charges, he loved Suguru Fujisaki and Suguru Fujisaki loved him. Blood ties, gender, job or age be damned, love knows no boundries.

"As I said, it doesnt change a thing." And as Suguru's clothes began to dissappear, as the friction between

his and Tohma's body grew he knew that Tohma spoke the truth.

Nothing had changed.

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**A/N: **N'awwwe arent they cute? Anywho, this is based on a real event...actually kinda spooky at how real to my life I was able to get it. Sorry for OOCness though I dont think it is...oh well

.: Anything worth taking seriously is worth blowing up :.

~AkiyaRae


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